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Not so long ago a friend told me that she was fully prepared, once she had moved in with her boyfriend, to jack in her job and become a full time housewife on his request. Now this isn't as terrible as it sounds- I believe that he would support her whatever her decision- but it got me thinking.
Did we women want the perfect man and the perfect home all along?
Whilst inequality in the work place remains a current phenomenon, we have reached almost a post-post-feminist era where a woman can say "I want to be a housewife" free from the inevitable accusation that she is trampling over everything her mother and grandmother fought for. Modern 'feminism' with a lower case 'f' is, after all, about choice- you could have a career, but you don't have to if you don't want to.
Sometimes it seems as though our attitude towards the role of women has gone full circle, only this time the desire to run the home and be a mother first and foremost comes not from society's expectations but from women themselves.
For the last few years there have been a number of articles and government reports bemoaning the fact that there aren't enough women in top level jobs, but as one female journalist pointed out, perhaps women just don't want these kinds of jobs. Firstly, many women would rather have the flexibility of a lower level job. Secondly, many simply can't be bothered with the boys' club mentality of some companies and political organisations. We are no less ambitious than our male counterparts, but when it comes to the workplace we just want different things.
But now that we women have been granted choice, is there really nothing left to fight for? There is still a gender pay gap, and we are still most likely to get laid off because of our capacity to bear children and our need for flexible hours because of this. Should we not strive to be independent and avoid becoming 'kept', or is this notion dated?
Should I give up my aspirations to run the home, I have a fantasy of how my day would go. I'd get up in the morning, go to the gym, then come home and do the housework listening to Madonna's Immaculate collection on top volume. I'd meet friends for lunch then spend the afternoon tending to my herb garden, manicuring my nails and making cakes. I'd make a delicious evening meal then spend the evening relaxing with my husband drinking Merlot and watching The Wire (I am aware that my choice of TV show is somewhat incongruous to the setting). In reality, I know that my day would be very different, I'd be wiping up baby sick, scrubbing the toilet and shunting laundry, and above all, I'd be very bored indeed. It is strange to think that a few generations ago, when it comes to being a housewife vs a career girl, I probably would not have been given the choice. It shocks me to think that there are still women in the world today who are treated like second class citizens and whose perceived purpose in life is to make babies and please their menfolk. But this is just my opinion. At times it seems as though there are women out there today who would be quite happy if every woman were a slave to her husband and children. Why else do career girls so often get it in the neck?
There is no doubt that western women are entering a new era of choice whereby it is okay to make cakes and look after your man without the anti-feminist subtext. We can't have it all like Nicola Horlick (once did), but we can have everything in moderation. Maybe. Have we gone full circle? Sometimes I think yes, but other times I realise that this is simply a product of increased freedom and choice. What do you think?
